“Can we dance one last time before you leave?” She asked with pleading eyes. I was annoyed. Why couldn’t she understand the pain I was in? Why was she acting stupid? I knew that she had to go through a lot during the past two years and I appreciate the fact that she stood by me all along, but now I am just fed up of her antics, fed up of her trying to make things look positive. Why doesn’t she see that nothing is working out? Why can’t she see that this cancer is eating me away and that it’s high time she let me go? Why can’t she see that I want to die in peace?
But as I looked into her eyes, I could see a pool of hope which I knew was of no use because I was going to die in a day or two. Not wanting to disappoint her one last time, I intertwined my left hand with her right hand and placed my right hand around her waist and drew her closer to me. As the music began to play, I lifted my head in astonishment for that was the song we both had first danced to during our school prom.
As we began to sway to and fro, she laid her head on my chest and every dance I had with her flashed through my mind, every memory I had built with her came back to me and that was when I realised why I had been fighting along for the past two years and I felt the pain in every cell of mine ease away in the sweet joy of reminiscence.
In the journey of suffering, I had forgotten my purpose of living and now after giving up on everything, it has finally dawned on me what I am about to lose. No, I cannot die now. I just cannot. I had hurt the woman I love in unimaginable ways and yet she had she stood by me at all times and now it’s totally up to me to make it up to her, for this beautiful woman is a keeper and I don’t want this relationship to end on such a bitter note. I buried my face on the pile of hair sitting on her head as I murmured “I’m sorry. I’m going to make up for this. I promise.”
Three years later, as I say “I do”, I look across the breathtaking woman at the altar next to me, the woman who inspired me to fight against the cancer that had broken me down, the woman who awoke the willpower within me. If it wasn’t for that one last dance with my savior, I wouldn’t have valued my existence.
~ Azraa. R