People are really, really harsh. They judge you mercilessly. They judge you regardless of whether or not they know your story. If they don’t know your story, they throw about a million assumptions which basically makes you seem like the villain of the story. Or if they do know the story, they still manage to find ways to make you feel like you’re a terrible person. So whether or not they truly know the story behind your pain, sadness and suffering really doesn’t matter, because they will judge you regardless of how profound and deep your pain and sufferings are.
Of course, there will always be a few that will support you, but at the same time there will always be another fraction of individuals ready to judge you at any time at any given day. Hence it is really fine if you don’t explain yourself to anyone because no matter what the reason is, how legit the cause is, how profound the story is, there will be at least one individual out there who will throw their judgement at you and no matter how great of a human being you are, at some point, someone’s judgmental comment will get to you. You can try and try and try as much as you want to ignore what people say, but we all have a point in life where we feel extremely vulnerable and in that moment, at least one person’s harsh words will affect you, because we are human and deep down, we are sensitive and a part of us definitely does get affected by a constant stream of critical statements.
Now when I say that people are harsh and everyone is judgmental, I am confident that we all had at least one person pop up in our mind; someone who has judged us in the past, criticized us, or just been very insensitive towards us whilst we were going through a difficult phase. But take a step back and look at yourself first before thinking of anyone else who might have been judgmental towards you. You might not have done something extremely drastic. It could be something minor. It could be something major. But the truth is that almost every single one of us have been judgmental at some point in our lives.
It could be something like what an individual we know or don’t know was wearing or eating or how they looked or how they presented themselves. It could be in the form of gossip where we discussed with either family or friends about someone else’s life choices and how or why they did what they did, without ever having an idea of what truly conspired or even if we did know what happened, we still find ways to pass some form of judgement about it. This list can go on and on and on. And sometimes what we discuss isn’t even something malicious, to us it seems like something pretty normal, but if you take a moment and truly analyze the depth of your words and your intention when you uttered those particular words, you will realize that deep down, unaware to your conscious mind, you were passing a judgement about another human being.
You did the exact same thing that others have done to you and when they did so either directly to your face or behind your back and you heard about it, how did you feel? Did you like it? Did you feel flattered? Chances are no, you didn’t like it. Rather you might have even despised it. You might have been hurt about it because you might have thought to yourself that how could someone say that when they don’t even know why you said or did whatever it is. So then when you know how it feels to be judged, why put someone else through the same miserable emotions.
I know that 99% of the times we never intend to judge someone with the intent of causing harm or hurt because most of the times we don’t even realize that we are being judgmental. We just think that it’s harmless gossip or something of that sort. But that’s the thing with gossip, it is usually not harmless, it ends up causing some sort of discomfort, or a rift in a bond or something of that kind.
So let’s try to be more conscious about the words that we utter from now on because we never know how our words, regardless of however pure our intentions are, could end up hurting another individual.
~ Azraa Rizvi 🖤